Friday 30 October 2015

Fabulous Friday - Field Guide to Lumbersexuals

There's an entire lumber genre going on! Right here in Harvard Square! And today we intend on doing a Fabulous job in delineating the sub-genres within the "Lumber" category of men. Today we spotted this fine gentleman sporting khaki jeans, laced-up topsider-style shoes and a brilliant Canadian Red Plaid shirt with... braces!

This, dear readers, is the infrequently scene Lumberbear!

Lumberbears are quite common in New Hampshire, Vermont and Maine. Occasional sightings of Lumberbears occur in Massachusetts during Fall migration.

Scan below to see some other Lumber selections!
Above is a prime example of the now common Lumbersexual. Most often found in Cambridge, and seldomly found in Boston (aside from Allston), scientists are still uncertain as to why Lumbersexuals travel on buses but not on subways.
Another Lumber subgenre is the Lumbergent! Our HOTT Crew Lumberthologists (that's a real word. We know because we made it up ourselves!) spotted this fine specimen as recently as three days ago! Notice the fine layered plumage and trim tailored outer garment. Lumbergents are highly local and are typically found only in small zip codes with a Starbucks density of 3 stores per 10,000 residents (in Metro Boston that would be only 02116 and 02138).
And of course the start of the entire genre, the ubiquitous Lumberjack! As common as Canada Geese on a golf course, the Lumberjack rarely travels via mass transit. So it was a special treat to see this Lumberjack on our way to work!

We hope today's post was informative, and that it will assist you in properly identifying the many types of Lumberfellows you see whilst out and about on the T!

Location: Red Line at Harvard
Imagined Profession: Manager - Lumber Liquidators
Photographer: GB
P.S. Speaking of Lumber Liquidators... how about that phone number!

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The Hotties on the T Team